One of the greatest goals of the human being is well-being and one of my main areas of interest has always been learning to generate it in my life. If we pay attention, we will notice that most of the time we experience suffering, what we actually experience are the consequences of attachment to something: a person, relationship, emotion, place, or thing important to us. Certainly, it's about managing change, but more than change, what hurts is the loss of someone or something we think we need.
According to Mireia Navarro, psychologist, founder, and director of the El Teu Espai Psychology Center: "Detachment is learning to love, to appreciate what we have, and to get involved in relationships in a healthier and more balanced way."
For me, detachment implies being free, stopping depending, needing, and clinging. It means that we can value people, relationships, and things, but understand that we don't need them to be happy; In this way, we can establish healthier links and relationships, free of dependency.
Throughout my life, there have been so many experiences that have forced me to practice detachment. One of the most significant has been emigrating with my husband and children from Venezuela to the United States, at the age of 40. That involved not only leaving my country, but also many of my main affections, history, career, achievements, heritage, and comforts to start from scratch and insert myself into a new society that offered me a new opportunity. How does this feel at first? Very hard! I came from a country where, after decades of training and work, I had built a reputation for myself, my performance and relationships opened doors for me, and suddenly I find myself in a place where, without an identification document, nobody He knows who I am; where I cannot exercise what I studied; where everything I had and built is gone; it did not produce as before but it spent more; I couldn't get together with my family and friends of all my life and in which, also, there is that wonderful lady who helped me at home and asked me in the morning: "Does an arepita cause you?". It happened to me that, after a day of running against time, studying, working as much as I could, taking care of the children, the house, I would get up like a spring from bed at one in the morning because I had forgotten to wash the uniforms the next day. In those moments I wondered if I had made the right decision, having two parallel lives: the one here and the one there: where your people, your house, and your soul are still; while you harbor in your heart the hope that everything will change so you can return. I know that many people have lived this experience in more difficult and painful conditions, but even with certain advantages, it is still an overwhelming process.
One day I understood that you are who you are wherever you are. That you, your knowledge and experiences make you unique and valuable anywhere and that you have the great blessing that a new country, which is WONDERFUL, is giving you the opportunity to prove it. So, I understood that I had to overcome the attachment, grow, be grateful and be happy. I'll tell you how I've been achieving it:
Trusting in God, in me, and in life.
Holding me accountable. I understand that the life I have is my only responsibility, so I take care of creating the reality that I want.
Living here and now. I appreciate my past but I focus on and savor the experiences that each day offers me and I take advantage of the opportunities that present themselves. Have you heard that “if lemons fall from the sky, learn to make lemonade?” So I don't get hooked on what I want it to be and I focus on what I have today.
Accepting the change. I understand that gaining and losing people, relationships, emotions, places, and things is something natural, part of the process of life.
Meditating. I understand that I can want and have what I want, but I don't need it to be happy. Inside me is everything I need.
Deeply loving my people, my relationships, my emotions, and my things (here and there); but with healthy links, without dependency.
Thanking every day for the blessings I have, understanding how lucky we are for the miracle of dawning alive every morning.
I know that it seems very difficult to apply these recommendations, but believe me, it will be much more difficult and painful to live without learning to overcome attachment. Shall we start working on this right now?
コメント