Most women take on the daily challenge of playing different roles simultaneously. And some, like me, have tried to comply with everything that this implies perfectly. The result: exhaustion, stress, bad mood, resentment at the lack of cooperation and consideration of those around you, guilt when you fail to complete a task with excellence, little or no time to share, distract yourself, or rest, and in more cases. depression, and other illnesses.
Just a week ago we celebrated Mother's Day in my daughter's virtual class, organized by Ms. Raya, her teacher. One of the moms, Angelica, read us a story about the importance of filling our hearts with kindness towards others and towards ourselves. In that story, the main character, Esperanza, got very nervous when she had to speak in public. She couldn't do it right and she felt deeply guilty. I couldn't help but remember that I have spoken in public for as long as I can remember, proving a real challenge for my audience to get me to shut up. However, a little less than a year ago, Ms. Acevedo-Isemberg, the principal of my children's school, passed me the microphone during the Gala of the Year, giving me the opportunity to address all the parents, teachers, and authorities who they were there, and in the end, for the first time in my life, I was absolutely frozen for a few seconds, and I was able to say goodbye thanks to her whispering the last word I needed. The message was transmitted. I'm sure no one even remembers that moment. But I needed a long time to stop feeling guilty, I thought that she had trusted me and I had not lived up to it, and not because I had not been effective, because clearly the objective was achieved and the message was transmitted, but because I had not have made it perfect. Perhaps that is why I found Esperanza's story so beautiful, because, certainly, it is very important to feel kindness towards others but, above all, we have to learn to feel kindness towards ourselves. In this sense, it would be worth the effort to stop acting as firefighters put out fires 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Most of the people around us see us as so self-sufficient that it doesn't even occur to them that we might need help, much less offer it.
I propose to love ourselves more, take care of ourselves more, and appreciate ourselves more because our value is in who we are and not in how useful we are to others or how much comfort we provide them. And most worryingly, why expect others to love us, care for us and value us if we don't start by doing it ourselves?
The maternity model for millennial women (born between 1981-1995, approximately) seems exemplary to me, and for this reason, I apply it. For me, talking about success, abundance, and happiness imply balance. Today's woman, as many of them do, is called to balance her personal, professional, and family development; work smart; delegate and team up with her classmates and family members; put technology at its service, and assume that it makes no sense to get sick or sacrifice the most valuable things in life to be perfect, when we can achieve our goals, healthily.
I propose to love, value, train, develop and participate in all areas of life, working intelligently and as a team, be part of the change, being effective in balance.
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