I have spent many years uncomfortable with some aspects of my reality, believing that my well-being depended on my circumstances, achievements, other people, etc.
Some years ago I understood that the outside world works like a mirror, reflecting my inner world. Consequently, my happiness is not outside, but inside me, and the greater my transformation, personal growth, and a higher level of consciousness, the greater the fullness that I will experience, and that will lead me to live the life I want.
Some experts, like the Japanese Yoshinori Noguchi, call this the Law of the Mirror, and in this article, I would like to share with you some of his most interesting discoveries.
Noguchi believes that there is no objective reality, but rather an interpretation of that reality according to our own filter. What happens outside is simply a reflection of how you feel, that is, a mirror.
How does this mirror work? The exterior reflects your interior in various ways: by similarity, opposition, or idealization. We speak of similarity when our unconscious reacts by rejecting negative traits or behaviors of other people that we also have or behaviors that we also have with others, as a self-defense mechanism. For example: when you are unfaithful and it bothers you that your partner or lover is with you. We refer to the opposition when an unconscious mechanism of reinforcement of our identity takes place because we reject the opposite of what we are. For example, When you are very kind and you get very angry if someone mistreats you. There would be idealization when you damage relationships with others as a result of your expectations. The Mirror shows our disappointment when things and people are not as we expected. It would be a kind of inability to accept things as they really are.
We already know some ways in which the Law of the Mirror works. Now, why is this law useful? The Law of the Mirror works as a tool for self-knowledge, personal transformation, and well-being.
When you observe the world and the behaviors of other people, you can identify what they reflect about you. Generally, what someone thinks, says, or does that bothers you or hurts you, gives you information about something about yourself that you should review or work on.
In this way, situations and people really work as teachers, who appear in your life, to reaffirm your values or positive behaviors or to help you forgive personal aspects of your own that you may not have been aware of, to be a better version of yourself; and consequently, be happier. Perceiving them like this makes it easier to let go of your negative emotions towards them, grow, move forward, and feel peace, gratitude, and well-being.
Another very helpful point Noguchi shares is that when you accept and forgive yourself, accept and forgive your circumstances and other people's behavior, you find inner peace. To achieve this and heal the mirrors in your life, Noguchi offers you 8 steps that I summarize below:
Identify the person you feel you cannot forgive.
Write down all the negative aspects of that person.
Identify the specific event that you feel you cannot forgive her for and try to put yourself in her shoes to understand why she might have done it.
Ask yourself what this person and their behavior reflect about yourself. For example, you get upset or feel like you can't forgive your boss because he didn't appreciate your work. Analyze if, in some way, you have not valued the effort of others or yours.
Now, identify the positive aspects of the person that you feel you cannot forgive.
Forgive the person and forgive yourself.
If you feel like you should apologize to someone with whom you've engaged in the same behavior, do so.
Identify the learning that this experience brings you and use it for your personal transformation.
Noguchi's work is excellent news for me. It means that you can change your reality and heal your relationships if you take action and choose to change yourself first.
So why continue in the role of victim? Choose to take action, work on your personal transformation, discard your limiting beliefs, develop healthy and empowering habits and become, as Gandhi would say, the change you want to see in the world. Forgive yourself, generate peace and fulfillment in your life from within, change your reality, and live the life you dream of.
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